Power-Within and Authenticity

Blessings, Courageous Ones!

What makes you feel powerful? 

In this exploration, I begin by defining "power" as the power that comes from within, and not as the power-over or domination of other beings that is so prevalent in humanity at this time.  In Truth or Dare, Starhawk writes, "Power-over is linked to domination and control; power-from-within is linked to the mysteries that awaken our deepest abilities and potential."  In Dreaming the Dark, she writes:  "...power-from-within is the power of the low, the dark, the earth; the power that arises from our blood, and our lives..."  She relates it to a consciousness of immanence, "the awareness of the world and everything in it as alive, dynamic, interdependent, interacting, and infused with moving energies:  a living being, a weaving dance.  The Goddess can be seen as the symbol, the normative image of immanence...Immanent power, power-from-within, is not something we have but something we can do."  And again, in Truth or Dare:  "Although power-over rules the systems we live in, power-from-within sustains our lives.  We can feel that power in acts of creation and connection, in planting, building, writing, cleaning, healing, soothing, playing, singing, making love."

I feel powerful when I embody the archetype of the Empowered Queen.  I feel powerful when I share those things--including vegetables!--that I have tended from seed to harvest.  I feel powerful when I know the work I am doing helps make the lives of others better.  I feel powerful when I am channeling the energy of the Goddess during ritual, with no ego attached.  I feel powerful when I follow a creative project through to completion.  I feel powerful when I am on my morning walk and am connected to the Earth.  I feel powerful when I care for myself.  When do I feel the MOST powerful?  I feel the most powerful when I am living authentically.

In our women's ritual community, Sisterhood of the Moon, each Sister is called to bring her Authentic Self to every gathering.  I view our Authentic Selves as the healthy personification of our personal Truths:  our thoughts, our emotions, our feelings, especially in that particular moment.  I like what Starhawk says here about the denial of personal truth:  "...the illusion that truth is found outside, not within, and denies the authority of experience, the truth of the senses and the body, the truth that belongs to everyone and is different for everyone."  My Truth may not be yours, and yet, it is no less valid for not being a shared truth.  As a Sovereign Being, it is my right and responsibility to hold my own Truth, whether or not others feel the same way.

I've discovered that I do not get to my own Truth as rapidly as others seem to--it takes me much longer to precisely know my personal Truth than it does for everyone else I've ever met. So much of my work and Service lies in channeling the emotions of others, including the emotions of the zeitgeist, that it often takes months, sometimes years, for me to arrive at my personal Truth.  I am learning to view this as part of my Authentic Self instead of seeing it as something "wrong" with me that needs to be "fixed." I also acknowledge that our personal Truths are not static--as we grow and learn and change, so can our Truths.  Because something was true for me at 16, does it still have to be true for me now?

I see authenticity as the courage to live and know my own Truth.  In the past, I often didn't share in situations where I didn't feel 100% comfortable; since I was small, I've been one who quietly takes in the "lay of the land" or "watches the tides" before feeling secure enough to express myself.  I've never identified this as a character flaw since getting a feel for the energy and dynamics of a group before fully jumping in can be respectful, and was often the correct choice for me.  Yet, in looking back, I now see times where I wish I had been brave enough to express myself earlier. 

"100% comfortable" is an illusion that I created from my own fears of perhaps being rejected, of not being heard, and of maybe even being laughed at and made fun of.  At its root, this is truly an issue of self-trust, self-validation, and authenticity.  I am now adding "in this moment" to a question Starhawk asks, "What am I seeing, thinking, or feeling in this moment that I'm not saying?"  This does not mean that I am required to speak the sight, thought, or feeling in that moment, but I must examine if speaking it would help shed light or bring forward movement to the situation at hand.  If the answer is yes, then it is my responsibility to call on the bravery needed for me to share what I am noticing.

In my continuing exploration of who I am as a Leader/Priestess, I am cultivating self-trust and courage.  In trusting myself, I create my own etheric pool of "safety" that I carry with me wherever I go.  In the comfort of this "safety pool" that I am continually swimming in, I find the courage to express my truth, and I find the courage to talk my walk, instead of just walking my talk.  I find the courage to express my Truth.  I bring forth my Authentic Self.

So, what makes you feel powerful?  I invite you to find out!

Blessed be!

Lady Jesamyn Angelica