On Shining Our Light

Blessings, Courageous Ones!

Lately, I have been deeply involved in Shadow work, both as a teacher and as an eternal student of life.  As we count down to Winter Solstice early Friday morning, I find myself deeply aware of the dark, communing with it, descending deeper and deeper into my inner realms, peeling back the layers.

During this Reset* process that began on 12-12-12 and completes on 12-21-12, I am busy clearing things out that I choose not to take with me into the next cycle.  I am releasing clothing that no longer fits, items that are no longer useful to me or my household; I even cleaned out the spice cabinet!  My daily practice has doubled in the time it takes to complete each morning, and I am gratefully at peace with this as it is allowing me to release and surrender those things that no longer serve from my body, my mind, my heart, my soul, my life.  I feel I have been given a great gift, the gift of starting over.  I am feeling the presence this Reset energy strongly in all of my thoughts and activities.

In a recent discussion about the Shadow-Self, one of my students shared that in the past, she has been ashamed of her power and has been afraid to let other people truly see it.  This is a concept I have been musing on for some time. In this culture, it sadly seems commonplace for a person, especially a woman, to be afraid of showing her power and therefore, unable to manifest it fully.  I have experienced this myself many, many times.  

We are taught as young girls and women never to "outshine" anyone else—to not rock the boat, to be polite and humble, to not draw attention to ourselves.  Over the years, I have seen many a woman targeted and systematically “taught a lesson” when she radiated her power-within.  “Who does she think she is?” “She thinks she’s better than everyone else!”  “She is stuck up…a snob…conceited….”  “She’s so full of herself!”  This plays out every single day on the playground, in the classroom, in the workplace, at any number of social gatherings, and yes, even within the Pagan community, maybe even within our own covens and circles.

There is currently a scarcity mentality around power—people, especially other women, seem to seek to tear down a woman who displays power-within and confidence.  Instead, let’s come to a collective realization that we can all access this power inside of ourselves; this power is our birthright.  When we are all on a journey of self-actualization and fulfillment, there is no need to compare ourselves to others and we no longer need to try to make ourselves feel better by bringing others down. There is no way, and no need, to "outshine" another when we are all shining, knowing and loving ourselves. 

Now is the time to allow your light to shine, to release any shame or programming around this, and to truly step into your power-within.  It is there, waiting for you.  Stop hiding it from yourself, and stop hiding it from the world.  We are all needed now, as whole and powerful as we can each possibly be.

Let us find ways to support one another—to support all women—in finding and holding our own power-within gracefully.  Let us make a pact to never speak ill of another woman who is standing in her actualized power-within. Let us agree to no longer bear witness to women tearing down other women, to speak up and to end this practice in our own realms.  Let us all support one another in truly manifesting our power-within and allowing that beauty to radiate out into the world for healing and justice.

So Mote it Be!

Blessed be,

Lady Jesamyn Angelica

High Priestess, Sisterhood of the Moon

*All Praise and Thanks to Oseaana December and Celestial SHE for bringing forth the concept of the Reset.  Please see: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Celestial-SHE/120234358060274 and http://CelestialSHE.com

The Shadow-Self

Blessings, Courageous Ones!

I write to you on this grey afternoon; the drenching, quenching rain has finally moved on and the gentle twinkling blue and white lights on my Yule tree are warming my heart.  Even as a Summer-baby, I find so much to love in this time of year:  the darkness—giving us opportunity to truly delve into ourselves, to know and learn more about our Dear Shadow-Self—and the beautiful, hopeful lights that we bring within both our homes and our bodies, like the Hermit’s sacred lantern.  This is the solar point of the cycle that matches the waning Moon; we move closer and closer to that moment of greatest darkness, greatest Mystery, and greatest opportunity for fertilizing and preparing our internal soil for those seeds of dreams we wish to plant in preparation for the quickening at Imbolc.

It is auspicious that during this Dark part of the Wheel I am co-teaching a class about the Dark Moon.  My co-teacher, Lady Carolina Amor, and I have structured this class so that it is not just about learning magick for the Dark Moon, but that it is about the dark of the Self as well, the Hidden Self, the Shadow.  It is our intention that this additional layer provides a strong foundation for self-exploration for all of our students, but also for ourselves.  Carolina and I have a shared desire for lifelong learning, continual deep work, self-knowledge, and understanding.

This work is the epitome of solitary work, yet in this group of ten women there is a feeling of solidarity and support as we each encounter those aspects of ourselves that were hidden, forgotten, shunned, and intentionally set away in the dark.  I know this for myself to be a never-ending process—as I examine each layer, another one waits just below it.  As I spiral closer to who I am truly meant to be, I must be willing to go deeper and deeper, into places within myself that might initially seem scary or impossible to face.  During this time of year, I always feel the necessity to descend, like Inanna, into the depths of my Soul and see what is there.  What serves me?  What holds me back?  What can be released?  What must be brought up into the Light and given its rightful place in the multifaceted being that is me?

We are working with several texts in this class, but the two that are currently speaking the most to me are The Secret of the Shadow by Debbie Ford, and The Wisdom of the Enneagram by Don Richard Riso and Russ Hudson.  Both of these books have practical journaling exercises that are helping me to find clarity in the layers of myself that I have ignored or only taken the time to get know in a cursory way. 

Debbie Ford writes about how we all have a Divine purpose, and how every single aspect of us and our lives contribute an essential ingredient that allows us to fulfill our Divine purposes.  This is a concept I’ve always embraced without truly delving into it, and I am really enjoying how far she takes it.  She writes about how each of us has a unique destiny—a gift that absolutely no one else can offer to the world.  She talks about how the stories we tell ourselves are ways we use to limit ourselves and define ourselves so that we don’t feel lost in the world.  When we listen closely to the story we tell ourselves about ourselves, we can find our shadow beliefs that control our “words, thoughts, and behaviors.”   Once we recognize our stories as stories, we can access the “exact ingredients we need to become the people we always longed to be.  Inside each of our stories is a Divine recipe for a most extraordinary life.”

The Wisdom of the Enneagram is allowing me to acknowledge my Shadow Self from a different perspective, the perspective of a certain “type.”  As Riso and Hudson write, “…what our hearts yearn for is to know who we are and why we are here.”  Yes!  This is exactly why I choose to know my Shadow and why I have doggedly continued to work on this relationship with my inner Self for so many years.  I am looking to learn, to transform, and to manifest who and what I am meant to be in this lifetime, in this time and place.

As I move towards completion of the Ethics class I’ve been taking since September, I find myself reflecting upon how much of this course has centered around the necessity for Clergy to be aware of who we are:  What character traits do I have?  What are my behaviors?  What do I value?  What biases do I hold?  What are my beliefs?  So many things in my life right now are whirlpooling around self-knowledge, and the journey towards knowing myself as much as I possibly can in this lifetime. What about you?

Blessed be,

Lady Jesamyn Angelica

HP, Sisterhood of the Moon

More thoughts about Power

Blessings, Courageous Ones!

I continually contemplate what Power means to me as a High Priestess.  What does power look like and how is it experienced in the Sisterhood of the Moon?  In which situations do I use power where it is acceptable?  Where do I use it where it is not?  How can I bring more power-with to myself and within my relationships with Circle-Sisters?

I agree with Michel Foucault’s definition of power demonstrating these qualities:

1.    Asserts itself through truth/knowledge claims;

2.    Emerges within a social context and meaning; and

3.    Is neither positive nor negative until it is deployed and perceived.

On page 87 of Ethics & Professional Practice for Neopagan Clergy, Dr. Katie MacDowell writes regarding truth/knowledge claims:

When we apply this to religion, two specific issues emerge:

1.    Knowledge authority that is implied or explicitly claimed by the priest/ess;

2.    Truth claims about the specific tradition’s beliefs on how the universe works, who’s in charge, and how we should lead our lives based [on this]

As High Priestess, my knowledge authority is implied.  Women who come to the Sisterhood know I am the Leader, and therefore have authority over what happens within our community—this is the social context and meaning.  I do not have authority over the personal lives of my Circle-Sisters, or over their personal cosmology/spirituality—nor do I want to—although I always share the beliefs and foundations of the Sisterhood of the Moon Tradition so that women know what framework we are operating within.  It is my intention to be completely transparent as to what the Tradition’s beliefs are, how the power structure is set up, and how I choose to lead my own life based on these beliefs and structures.

I agree with Dr. MacDowell that marrying Foucault’s definition of power with Rosabeth Moss Kanter’s can be helpful in truly grasping what power means in the social/spiritual construct.  On page 82, MacDowell provides Kanter’s definition of power as:

           

The ability to achieve and mobilize social and material resources through the assertion and utilization of truth claims and social position (both creating authority) to meet one’s goals.

Dr. MacDowell, on pages 88-89, goes on to list the typical sources of power for a Priestess:

·         The right to define, alter, and create theological beliefs;

·         The capacity to accept or decline members for worship;

·         The right to officiate all ritual/liturgical elements of worship;

·         The capacity to remove any member or lower-leveled clergy from office or the   worship group;

·         The ability to set the tone for the dynamics between members;

·         The ability to determine who is qualified for initiation or teaching and who is not;

·         Access to mystery or hidden/non-public knowledge adherents do not have;

·         Access to financial reimbursement for time, teaching, and counseling;

·         Legal recognition of authority conferred by title to oversee marriage and death  rites, as well as participate in pastoral care; and

·         Ego resources, such as a sense of greater control and capacity conferred through holding the other power resources as well as in the role of being sought out by other members for help, guidance, or teaching.

           

Power is a privilege, and as High Priestess I am privileged to exercise my authority and power. Without Circle-Sisters to accept my claim to this power, however, there is no community to lead.  This is an Agreement we have all willingly entered into and this power is established because I say it is so:  I have done the work, been granted Ordination within my Tradition, and started and tended to the cauldron of my circle.  Any women can come to me for training and Initiation and/or Ordination within the Sisterhood of the Moon, as long as she is willing to do the work within the structure of our particular community and the belief system therein.  Currently, even though I often go to my Sacred Council for advice, I am the sole Priestess, and the final decision-maker in all cases.  As Rev. Ava Park teaches, as I am the Queen of the Realm of the Sisterhood, I have the right and responsibility to make any and all decisions.  The ultimate goal I hold for all women in my community is self-empowerment.

Regarding the process of inclusion and exclusion and how it relates to power in our particular Dianic community, I am always in process with myself around this.  As Dr. MacDowell writes on page 85:

…exclusion does occur and it is the clergy’s responsibility to continuously assess:

·         Who is being excluded and who is being included?

·         For what reasons is the exclusion occurring?

·         Are such practices potentially beneficial to the community and in what ways?

·         How are such practices harmful to the community and in what ways?

·         Are such justifications for the exclusion in keeping with the ethics of the faith?

The feminist Dianic Tradition of Z Budapest intentionally excludes men from our group spiritual practices.  This is not because we are against men, or do not honor them; in fact, most of my Circle-Sisters, including myself, are married to or partnered with men, live in households with them, raise children with them, and maintain close, deep, and abiding friendships with them.  Our Dianic Tradition was founded for women to practice our spirituality solely with other women as a way of reclaiming power and self-empowerment through discussing and ritualizing the Blood Mysteries, and in developing closer relationships with other women and the Goddess.  This is not a commentary on how others choose to practice their spirituality or embrace and create their own personal cosmology.  There is inherent exclusion in this particular Dianic Tradition that I do not believe is harmful to men who are excluded.  On a different note, I continue a deep personal inquiry into the position of the Dianic Tradition on transgender women, and whether this is harmful or to our trans-Sisters and ethically, to the Sisterhood of the Moon.

Finally, a note on “power-over” and “power-with” as it relates to this specific chapter in Dr. MacDowell’s book.  “Power-over” exists in my circle because there is a hierarchical structure in our community.  I am the primary authority figure, although I strive to share “power-with” with all Circle-Sisters who wish it:  I encourage women to help shape our community, to give input on what they would like to see and participate in, to help us establish and develop those things that will best serve our members.  I see our emerging Sisterhood of the Moon Tradition as a hybrid between typical authoritative hierarchies and consensus-based communities.  To my best ability, I maintain a benevolent authority within our circle.

I would love to hear about how you experience and utilize power as a Leader, and I invite you to “follow” this blog so you receive notification via email for each of my new posts.

Blessed be,

Lady Jesamyn Angelica

High Priestess, Sisterhood of the Moon

The Role of the Pastoral Counselor in Neopaganism

The Blessings of our Benevolent Ancestors upon you, Courageous Ones!

Today I continue my exploration of Ethics.  The unit I have just completed deals with the different aspects of the role of the Neopagan Pastoral Counselor.  Onward!

Dr. Katie MacDowell, in her book Ethics & Professional Practice for Neopagan Clergy, writes on page 47:

The role of the Neopagan Pastor involves three skill areas merged together:  mentor, pedagogical expert, and counselor.  Within the role of spiritual mentor, the pastor is able to facilitate spiritual growth of each member of the community.  As an expert in pedagogy, the pastor is able to teach the necessary religious skills required for each member to initiate into their tradition and to become full participants within its ritual life.  And finally, as a counselor, the pastor is able to provide supportive counseling interventions to help members in their community cope with life stressors; further the pastor is able to frame counseling interventions within the theological context.

Wow, this was a long and very intense unit.  I had never taken the time to break down the different parts of my role as High Priestess before reading this chapter.  While going over this writing several times, I began to see where my current skillset lies, and the places where I need to delve deeper. I am most comfortable and skilled as a Pastor in pedagogy, so I will address the other two roles first.

Dr. MacDowell writes on page 48:

The spiritual mentor is an expert in how individuals develop their religious and spiritual identities and come to commit themselves to a faith or even break away from that faith.  Because the mentor understands the stages of religious development that individuals move through and how their internal view of their religion influences this development, the mentor is able to foster that individual’s spiritual growth.

Since I have no formal seminary training and was, in essence, taught and mentored while I “learned on the job,” I was not previously familiar with the work Peek, Rambo, or Fowler that Dr. MacDowell discusses in depth in this chapter.  The development and stages of spirituality and religious conversion is something I never spent any intentional time thinking about!  I admit to first finding this section somewhat daunting, and bit of a stretch for me to truly grasp.  After reading it several times, I think I understand the basic elements of this topic.

When I think of myself in the role of a Spiritual Mentor, I see that I am most accomplished at knowing, as Dr. MacDowell writes:

     (a)  How and why people come to the Neopagan path, particularly to the tradition they are working in;

     (b)  How individuals grow along this path; and

     (c)  How to mentor (facilitate) their growth on this path.

My competence in this realm comes first from my own personal experience (how I came to this Path, have grown along it, and how I have been mentored and facilitated, and how I continue to be mentored and facilitated), and secondly through “doing” (without even, in the past, truly contemplating or understanding what exactly I was “doing”) first as an apprentice Priestess, then as a Priestess in a community, and finally as High Priestess within my own community.

I can see that further exploration of how people, women especially, find and own their religious identity would be greatly beneficial to my growth as a Spiritual Mentor.

Next, I move to the Pastoral Counselor.  Dr. MacDowell defines this, on page 77:

Neopagan Pastoral Counseling is known as supportive counseling and is a relationship designed to help individuals adjust to the challenges we all face or could face in our lives through the framing of these events within the symbols, stories, and meanings of the Neopagan faith.  In this fashion, the Neopagan counselor situates the issues the individual is experiencing within the context of Neopagan models of meaning and development.  It may include rituals to promote healing or a greater connection of the divine; and it may also include assigning reading material to help foster self-help and growth.

As High Priestess of the Sisterhood of the Moon, I often take on the role of a Pastoral Counselor.  In almost every situation, however, this is done casually instead of formally.  A woman may ask me a question, or share her situation, and ask for my thoughts or advice before or after a ritual.  Or, more commonly, this occurs in a group setting and in a group conversation after ritual when we are feasting, or on our community chat list.  I do put forward that I am available for one-on-one counseling and consultations, but have seldom been taken up on this offer. I find myself wishing that more women would come to me as a Pastoral Counselor in a more formal setting, but have not discovered how to manifest this yet.

I feel that I am skilled with all of the “essential elements” Dr. MacDowell shared:  Respect and empowerment, Empathy, Genuineness, and Trust, but that I can certainly be better with Unconditional Positive Regard.  The work I have done with Non-Violent Communication in the past often serves me well in this capacity, but there is definitely room for more understanding and growth here.

Finally, the Pedagogy Expert, as Dr. MacDowell defines on page 70:

The pedagogy expert…is all about teaching concepts and central tenets of the specific Neopagan faith.  This is not about deepening spiritual awareness as it is about the pragmatic aspect of learning the parameters of the tradition.  There are two primary strategies that Neopagan pastor will manifest this element of the role:  As a grader and feedback provider…[and] As the primary developer of lessons and direct educator.

Pedagogy, or teaching, is one of my favorite roles.  I am naturally inclined towards this realm, and I believe it can be partially attributed to growing up with so many teachers in my family!  It runs in my blood naturally, but there is a nurture element there as well.  Teaching about my Tradition is one of my absolute favorite things to do in this lifetime, and it brings such joy to my life.  I also feel that every time I teach a formal class, I learn just as much as my students, if not more.  I am always looking to further hone these skills.

How do you manifest these roles in your life as a Pastoral Counselor?  I invite you to share your explorations around this topic!

Blessed be,

Lady Jesamyn Angelica

High Priestess, Sisterhood of the Moon

Returned, and More on Ethics

Blessings, Courageous Ones!

I return to you after—wow!—a month away from this blog.  My eight day family “vacation” turned into a two week plus end-of-the-A’s-season-beginning-of-the-A’s-postseason-end-of-the-A’s-postseason bacchanal turned into getting sick for over a week due to burning the candle at both ends.  I am still not quite 100% and am slowly getting back into the swing of things.  This means back to my Ethics class!  I’d like to share with you more of my explorations around Ethics and how they relate to my practice as a High Priestess.   

As Dr. Katherine MacDowell writes in Chapter 3 of her book, Ethics & Professional Practice for Neopagan Clergy, “we ‘judge the effectiveness of ministers in terms of the congruence of their beliefs, personal life, and performance’* with the theo/alogical principles of their tradition.  In this fashion, adherents look to their priests and priestesses as models of how to negotiate contemporary life through the maintenance of the core values of their religious tradition.”

It is necessary for a Priestess to show congruency between what she teaches and how she lives her life.  Character traits such as integrity, transparency, thoughtfulness, clear communication, respect, authenticity, and openness, among others, are healthy and beneficial to a community.  On the other hand, character traits such as opacity, prejudice, irresponsibility, lack of discipline, disorganization, selfishness, and others, are unhealthy to inject into a community.

I believe authenticity is one of the most important traits for me, as a High Priestess, to model.  I must be willing to show who I truly am, including sharing my imperfections and what I am personally working on if it will benefit the community.  This is also helpful in keeping my Sisters from placing me on a pedestal—transparency helps to reveal that I am just as human as they are.  Knowing what is beneficial to share with the community and what could be harmful is a fine line that I am still learning about.

I have been in communities where the leadership was careful to never publically show any imperfections and in one case, went out of their way to make sure that adherents did not know the truth of what was happening behind closed doors and in their personal lives.  This lack of transparency coupled with a changing list of “rules” created a lot of instability and drama in the group.

Demonstrating the three character traits found to be most desirable by The Association of Theological Schools in the United States and Canada (1. service without need for public recognition; 2. integrity; and 3. generosity) and being mindful of not manifesting the three most undesirable traits (1. lack of discipline; 2. self-serving; and 3. immaturity) can be very helpful for the long-term health of a coven or group.   

Dr. MacDowell writes:

In this fashion, to be a minister an individual must have an underlying motivation for service without the need for public recognition—in other words, service for service sake.  Integrity reflects the capacity for an individual to keep their word and maintain consistency; while generosity refers to our capacity to be open and giving of self to others.  In contrast, the three most undesirable traits…:  A lack of discipline reflected not only a lifestyle of excess, but also disorganization in one’s personal life, emotions, and environments.  While self-serving reflects an individual who places their own needs above the needs of their coven or congregation and structures the role of priest/ess to solely serve one’s ego rather than to serve Divine energy that guides the specific tradition the individual speaks for.  Finally, immaturity reflects an inability: (a) to maintain a leadership position, (b) to manifest the breadth and scope of the religious ethics of the specific tradition, and (c) to manifest depth in theological thinking.  Considering this study we can develop a preliminary description of the ideal character of a priest/ess, as follows:

1.    motivated for service, both to adherents and to the divinity of the tradition;

2.    maintains an attitude of respect and integrity—behaviorally manifesting the ethic all are divine (“thou art goddess”, “an it harm none” for example);

3.    maintains an attitude of generosity, authenticity, and openness;

4.    is disciplined, organized, and focused in behavior, thought, and emotional response;

5.    is empathic and sympathetic—oriented to fully hearing others;

6.    motivated for personal growth and deepening one’s knowledge and relationship to the divine;

7.    maintains congruency between faith and behavior, “as above, so below; as within, so without”;

8.    has a mature religious identity; this means the individual feels certain in their beliefs and does not feel threatened by other religious beliefs and is able to translate their beliefs into their everyday behavior.

I find myself in deep meditation about the habits, addictions, and/or compulsions that do not serve me or my community that I still have in my personal life, whether or not my Sisters are aware of them.  What incongruencies still exist?  As the figurehead of the Sisterhood, the community is only as healthy as I am as a Leader and High Priestess.  What personal work must I do at this time to engender more health within myself, my community, and in each individual woman?

I invite you to share your thoughts!

Blessed be,

Lady Jesamyn Angelica

High Priestess, Sisterhood of the Moon

* Gula, R.M.:  Ethics in Pastoral Ministry.  New York:  Paulist Press, p. 31, 1996.