On Shining Our Light

Blessings, Courageous Ones!

Lately, I have been deeply involved in Shadow work, both as a teacher and as an eternal student of life.  As we count down to Winter Solstice early Friday morning, I find myself deeply aware of the dark, communing with it, descending deeper and deeper into my inner realms, peeling back the layers.

During this Reset* process that began on 12-12-12 and completes on 12-21-12, I am busy clearing things out that I choose not to take with me into the next cycle.  I am releasing clothing that no longer fits, items that are no longer useful to me or my household; I even cleaned out the spice cabinet!  My daily practice has doubled in the time it takes to complete each morning, and I am gratefully at peace with this as it is allowing me to release and surrender those things that no longer serve from my body, my mind, my heart, my soul, my life.  I feel I have been given a great gift, the gift of starting over.  I am feeling the presence this Reset energy strongly in all of my thoughts and activities.

In a recent discussion about the Shadow-Self, one of my students shared that in the past, she has been ashamed of her power and has been afraid to let other people truly see it.  This is a concept I have been musing on for some time. In this culture, it sadly seems commonplace for a person, especially a woman, to be afraid of showing her power and therefore, unable to manifest it fully.  I have experienced this myself many, many times.  

We are taught as young girls and women never to "outshine" anyone else—to not rock the boat, to be polite and humble, to not draw attention to ourselves.  Over the years, I have seen many a woman targeted and systematically “taught a lesson” when she radiated her power-within.  “Who does she think she is?” “She thinks she’s better than everyone else!”  “She is stuck up…a snob…conceited….”  “She’s so full of herself!”  This plays out every single day on the playground, in the classroom, in the workplace, at any number of social gatherings, and yes, even within the Pagan community, maybe even within our own covens and circles.

There is currently a scarcity mentality around power—people, especially other women, seem to seek to tear down a woman who displays power-within and confidence.  Instead, let’s come to a collective realization that we can all access this power inside of ourselves; this power is our birthright.  When we are all on a journey of self-actualization and fulfillment, there is no need to compare ourselves to others and we no longer need to try to make ourselves feel better by bringing others down. There is no way, and no need, to "outshine" another when we are all shining, knowing and loving ourselves. 

Now is the time to allow your light to shine, to release any shame or programming around this, and to truly step into your power-within.  It is there, waiting for you.  Stop hiding it from yourself, and stop hiding it from the world.  We are all needed now, as whole and powerful as we can each possibly be.

Let us find ways to support one another—to support all women—in finding and holding our own power-within gracefully.  Let us make a pact to never speak ill of another woman who is standing in her actualized power-within. Let us agree to no longer bear witness to women tearing down other women, to speak up and to end this practice in our own realms.  Let us all support one another in truly manifesting our power-within and allowing that beauty to radiate out into the world for healing and justice.

So Mote it Be!

Blessed be,

Lady Jesamyn Angelica

High Priestess, Sisterhood of the Moon

*All Praise and Thanks to Oseaana December and Celestial SHE for bringing forth the concept of the Reset.  Please see: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Celestial-SHE/120234358060274 and http://CelestialSHE.com

The Shadow-Self

Blessings, Courageous Ones!

I write to you on this grey afternoon; the drenching, quenching rain has finally moved on and the gentle twinkling blue and white lights on my Yule tree are warming my heart.  Even as a Summer-baby, I find so much to love in this time of year:  the darkness—giving us opportunity to truly delve into ourselves, to know and learn more about our Dear Shadow-Self—and the beautiful, hopeful lights that we bring within both our homes and our bodies, like the Hermit’s sacred lantern.  This is the solar point of the cycle that matches the waning Moon; we move closer and closer to that moment of greatest darkness, greatest Mystery, and greatest opportunity for fertilizing and preparing our internal soil for those seeds of dreams we wish to plant in preparation for the quickening at Imbolc.

It is auspicious that during this Dark part of the Wheel I am co-teaching a class about the Dark Moon.  My co-teacher, Lady Carolina Amor, and I have structured this class so that it is not just about learning magick for the Dark Moon, but that it is about the dark of the Self as well, the Hidden Self, the Shadow.  It is our intention that this additional layer provides a strong foundation for self-exploration for all of our students, but also for ourselves.  Carolina and I have a shared desire for lifelong learning, continual deep work, self-knowledge, and understanding.

This work is the epitome of solitary work, yet in this group of ten women there is a feeling of solidarity and support as we each encounter those aspects of ourselves that were hidden, forgotten, shunned, and intentionally set away in the dark.  I know this for myself to be a never-ending process—as I examine each layer, another one waits just below it.  As I spiral closer to who I am truly meant to be, I must be willing to go deeper and deeper, into places within myself that might initially seem scary or impossible to face.  During this time of year, I always feel the necessity to descend, like Inanna, into the depths of my Soul and see what is there.  What serves me?  What holds me back?  What can be released?  What must be brought up into the Light and given its rightful place in the multifaceted being that is me?

We are working with several texts in this class, but the two that are currently speaking the most to me are The Secret of the Shadow by Debbie Ford, and The Wisdom of the Enneagram by Don Richard Riso and Russ Hudson.  Both of these books have practical journaling exercises that are helping me to find clarity in the layers of myself that I have ignored or only taken the time to get know in a cursory way. 

Debbie Ford writes about how we all have a Divine purpose, and how every single aspect of us and our lives contribute an essential ingredient that allows us to fulfill our Divine purposes.  This is a concept I’ve always embraced without truly delving into it, and I am really enjoying how far she takes it.  She writes about how each of us has a unique destiny—a gift that absolutely no one else can offer to the world.  She talks about how the stories we tell ourselves are ways we use to limit ourselves and define ourselves so that we don’t feel lost in the world.  When we listen closely to the story we tell ourselves about ourselves, we can find our shadow beliefs that control our “words, thoughts, and behaviors.”   Once we recognize our stories as stories, we can access the “exact ingredients we need to become the people we always longed to be.  Inside each of our stories is a Divine recipe for a most extraordinary life.”

The Wisdom of the Enneagram is allowing me to acknowledge my Shadow Self from a different perspective, the perspective of a certain “type.”  As Riso and Hudson write, “…what our hearts yearn for is to know who we are and why we are here.”  Yes!  This is exactly why I choose to know my Shadow and why I have doggedly continued to work on this relationship with my inner Self for so many years.  I am looking to learn, to transform, and to manifest who and what I am meant to be in this lifetime, in this time and place.

As I move towards completion of the Ethics class I’ve been taking since September, I find myself reflecting upon how much of this course has centered around the necessity for Clergy to be aware of who we are:  What character traits do I have?  What are my behaviors?  What do I value?  What biases do I hold?  What are my beliefs?  So many things in my life right now are whirlpooling around self-knowledge, and the journey towards knowing myself as much as I possibly can in this lifetime. What about you?

Blessed be,

Lady Jesamyn Angelica

HP, Sisterhood of the Moon